Breastfeeding for Co-Mothers

I have over the years had enquiries from several lesbian couples who were planning to attempt to conceive both at the same time to have children. One reason given was that they both wanted a close physical bond with a child. While most people who have had twins will say that the first three years are extremely hard, that is one choice for two women in a relationship to experience a close physical mother-child relationship.

Another way, which I had not thought of until I came across Breastfeeding Without Birthing by Alyssa Schnell, is for the co-mother (the mother who did not birth the child) in a same-sex female couple to co-nurse, whether or not she has a (full) milk supply.

Rachel and Talana and their daughter

I talked about Alyssa’s work in another blog post about intended mothers who have children through surrogacy and breastfeed them. In episode 15 of Breastfeeding Outside the Box podcasts, Alyssa talks to Rachel Gazda and Talana Keister about their experience of co-nursing their daughter as co-mothers. I love the options this creates for parenting, not least because I have in my practice come across a number of same-sex female couples where for medical reasons they choose for the younger partner to carry the children but the older was then the one who stopped gainful employment or went part time to care for the children.