Parenting Arrangements for Lesbians and Gay Men
Until 6 April 2009 the law still provided that a fertility clinic needed to consider “the need of [a future] child for a father” before agreeing to treat a woman. Some clinics interpreted this to mean that they could not treat single women or women in same-sex relationships. The Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act 2008 changed this and the law now only asks the clinic to consider the need of the child for “supportive parenting”.
As a result a number of lesbians (and some other single women) have asked a male friend to donate sperm so they can have children. Others like the idea of a male father figure for their child, the free child care or want to share parenting with a male friend. The understandings and discussions between the woman and the man can range from full co-parenting via unclear situations to those where the man simply acts as a private sperm donor. Unfortunately the law does not allow the woman and the man to enter into a binding contract. There are, however, ways around it depending on what you want your and the other biological parent’s rights to be.
- full co-parenting where the child will live with one parent and frequently spend time with the other parent and both parents are financially contributing to the child’s costs
- sperm donation only
- something in between
You also need to decide what rights and duties you expect:
- Do you want the father to have a right to contact with the child?
- Do you want the father to be financially responsible for the child?
- Do you want the mother’s partner legally to be the child’s second mother?
If you want the mother’s partner to be the second mother of the child, the law depends on whether or not you use a clinic and whether or not you are civil partners. If she is not legally the second parent automatically, the only option is through adoption after the child has been born. Once the child has been adopted, any rights, duties and legal status the biological father may have had, will cease.
Find out how the law deals with co-parenting and sperm donations before you go any further.
For advice on your specific circumstances contact Andrea Woelke: ring or email us.
February 2010
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© Andrea Woelke 2009
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Disclaimer
This is an outline of the law, practice and procedure in England and Wales. It should not be taken as specific advice. All families and couples are different. The law may have changed since this was written and we therefore accept no liability for inaccuracies. Where examples are given, your personal circumstances may vary slightly, but the difference may be significant for the outcome of the legal process. Contact us for specific advice on your own circumstances.
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