Contact
A child has a right to contact with both parents. It is primarily the child’s right, not the parent’s. The amount of contact and the timing will depend on the child’s age and the practical arrangements. Typical examples for contact with the parent with whom the child does not live could look as follows:
- baby: a couple of hours each Saturday morning,
- young toddler: a day each weekend: with very young children who have a short memory span frequent shorter contact is better than longer periods further apart
- young children: alternate weekends with one night overnight and maybe an evening each week
- older children: alternate weekends with overnight contact, maybe from Friday night to Sunday night; there could be additionally one night overnight contact a week; some parents agree Thursday nights, which would then provide a continuous long weekend every other weekend.
- teenagers often have sport or other weekend activities and contact must be planned around those. The court will not force a teenager over 14 to have contact with the other parent and even from the age of about 12 the court takes the child’s wishes strongly into account.
- In addition there would be holiday contact during school holidays, which would be shared, but would depend again on practical issues such as the parents’ working pattern and holidays they can take from work.
- One should not forget to agree on arrangements for general and family holidays such as Christmas and the birthdays of the child, the parents and siblings.
Contact orders or arrangements should always take into account the situation immediately beforehand. Depending on the previous situation the commencement of contact may vary considerably, for example if parents separate when a child is 12 months old and the father took paternity leave and was actively involved with nappy changing and other day-to-day and night-to-night care, there may already be overnight contact from the beginning. On the other hand if a father has not seen his children for five years and they are at primary school age, there would probably only be daytime contact for the first few weeks and overnight contact would be eased in slowly over a six-month period or so. It will always very much depend on the circumstances.
If the parents live further away from each other or even in different countries, the pattern would of course be quite different. In these cases contact is likely to be less frequent but longer. In addition telephone and internet video-phone contact (e.g. via MSN or Skype etc.) could form part of the arrangement or order. Often it can be surprisingly cheap to arrange contact in international cases if there is a budget airline flying between the two cities and dates are arranged well in advance.
It is always best to try to avoid court proceedings of course because the judge can only make an order, which those involved still have to comply with. There will also be issues arising in the future of a child’s life where parents have to work together.
Mediation is an inexpensive way to find solutions outside the court system and it is particularly suitable to resolve issues about children. Our support page has a wealth of resources for parents to help them to parent together successfully, nurturing their child.
For advice on your specific circumstances contact Alternative Family Law: ring or email us.
February 2010
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© Andrea Woelke 2009
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Disclaimer
This is an outline of the law, practice and procedure in England and Wales. It should not be taken as specific advice. All families and couples are different. The law may have changed since this was written and we therefore accept no liability for inaccuracies. Where examples are given, your personal circumstances may vary slightly, but the difference may be significant for the outcome of the legal process. Contact us for specific advice on your own circumstances.
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